I have an injury!
I am a pretty poor example of a yoga teacher right now and yes, before you say anything, I feel bad!
Imagine a squeezing feeling just at the left side of your waist with a bit of a tingle and every now and then a real "Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!" and that is what I have had for about five months.
Gasp in horror! Yes, you heard right, five months!
After a massive panic about two weeks ago that I might have some awful kidney problem (ever the drama queen!) I finally decided that I had to go and get myself checked out. My comedy Doctor told me it was a structural problem and that I should rest for two months!
Um, not an option Doc!
It was time to bite the bullet and so I found myself dialing an Osteopath who had been recommended by a friend on several occasions.
Paul Mitterhuber is a miracle worker! Well actually he is a body worker but he has healing hands and the most incredible anatomy knowledge of anyone I know.
After a short consultation it was kit off and straight onto the table. I was anxious and nervous as to what he was going to find and its always overly hot in those offices isn't it, so very unattractively, I was sweating! Paul's long years in the business have allowed him to develop a wonderfully gentle bedside manner. He seems to have a deep respect for his patients and doesn't miss a beat, whether its a sudden short intake of breath, a sweaty palm or a tense little toe. When he knew something potentially uncomfortable was upcoming he asked me, "So how did you come to be a yoga teacher?" or "What were the big 40 Birthday celebrations like?", anything to get your mind off the discomfort and a little more relaxed allowing him to work his magic without undue pain to his patient.
Love him!
So, I was sent home with some exercises, a tennis ball and some Biofreeze gel which by the way is something that everyone should have in their medicine cabinet!
(Nb. tennis ball is for self massage technique, I wasn't prescribed a game of singles!)
I felt absolutely great on day one and day two, by day three I was starting to stiffen up, by day four I was walking like I had a body cast on and day five I slept fitfully for approximately 4 hours in between popping 400mg of Ibuprofen!
My long sad face said it all when I hobbled back into Paul's office.
"Sophie! Its been five or so months in the making, you can't expect it to go away after one session with me!"
"But I did!" I wanted to cry like a sulky six year old!
"I've stirred everything up and your body wants to naturally go back to where it was so its fighting what I did. Don't worry, we can sort you out, but you have to be patient!"
Still love him!
During my second session of Osteo, being clicked and pulled and twisted I also found myself being lectured!
Not in a bad way, in a way that I needed, that was long overdue.
Paul asked me what I do for myself.
"I work! I love my job!"
"But you need to spend a little time doing something just for you...to relax!"
"No time to relax Paul. I am building a business!"
Then he produced his trump card
"Sophie, the pain you are experiencing in your hip and your groin and your back and your shoulder is pretty much due to worry and stress. I know I have only met you twice, but I can see by your body that you are the sort of person who appears all happy and content with everything together on the outside while inside you are a mess trying to juggle a thousand balls. The whole of your left side has become so tight due to your emotional state that it is restricting you. I don't want to sound like your Dad lecturing you, but you have to find a little time in your schedule to look after yourself for a change. You are in a profession where you give to others, you hear about their problems and worries, you give them your energy and help them to feel great. You need to practice what you preach and do that for yourself too!"
Bloody Hell!A telling off at 40!
He is completely right of course.
Anyone who runs their own business spends so much time working hard to make it a success and they generally fail to remember that without a healthy and happy person at the helm, their business is nothing.
I Left Paul's office with my tail between my legs and a plan in place for de-stressing.
You want to hear my cunning plan?
I am going to take Sundays off!
There are so many things that I really love to do that I haven't done for ages because Freedom Yoga has muscled in on my entire life. I am going to start cooking again. I love to cook. I am never happier than with a wooden spoon in one hand and a glass of wine in the other! I am going to restore an old pine chest that has been sitting unloved in the garage for ages. I am going to go out for walks with my family and pick up beech nuts and interesting bits of bark, then leave them in my coat pocket only to find them months later! I am going to live outside of yoga practice and emails and updating facebook pages and preparing sequences!
Wow! I feel better already just writing that down!
My name is Sophie and I am a workaholic!
From now on, on Sundays I am going to get dressed in normal clothes and just being plain old Sophie from Prestwood!
Physically I obviously need to get back in touch with that girl and mentally too! I think the people around me need to see her once in a while as well!
Don't worry Freedom Lovers, during the week I will still play Sophie, Power Yoga Queen ready for world domination!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Confidence is Freedom
OK, there are definitely days when you get up and feel a bit pants and then there are other days when you feel pretty good about yourself, right?
Today was a feeling good kind of day.
I sprung (well not actually sprung but maybe groaned a little less than usual) out of bed this morning, had a speedy hot shower and did the bravest thing that any girl over 40 (only a few weeks over 40 mind!) can do. I slipped my towel off my hot damp body (sorry, now its sounding like porn!) and positioned myself in front of the full length mirror. Gingerly of course, starting at one side of the mirror so as not to scare myself! As my body came fully into view I was actually not as horrified as I imagined. In fact, dare I say it, I was a little bit chuffed! So 40 (and a tiny bit), with no serious cellulite, an in and out sort of waist hip thing going on and what Dawn French would consider a "Tom Boy Tum"!
Yay for sun salutations and giving up coffee!
I got dressed in real clothes, which I rarely get to wear because I am always in yoga get up, and after a slick of mascara a bit of a blow dry and a spritz of Jo Malone I was headed out the door to a couple of appointments.
Appointment one was good. Appointment two, good too, but my "look at me all 40 and gorgeous" had been replaced with a "God I'm rubbish!"
I hate that, and it happens often. I get dressed look in the mirror and think, "you know what Fee? You're alright you are!" and then I go out, meet other people and think, "Why am I not like that? Why don't I look like that? Why didn't I say that/wear that/be that?"
Please tell me I am not alone in this!
Now, I know I have issues!
Bizarrely most people who first meet me think I am the most together person they know. It is only when they delve deeper and get to know me better that they realize I am absolutely and hopelessly lack of confidence personified.
Lets just say that my self esteem cupboard is bare!
I am also ashamed to admit that I am completely shallow and obsessed by appearance. Mostly other people's and how mine doesn't match up.
Now on the way home from lunch with gorgeous thing one and fashionable thing two, doing the whole woe is me thing, a funny thing happened. I actually stopped myself in mid thought and told myself off! Now I am sounding like a mad woman...stop nodding!
"Fee!", I said. "Stop it!" I said it a bit sternly actually. I frightened myself!
"You are still as gorgeous as you were in the mirror this morning."
"Was that bird so beautiful? Was that other one so trendy? NO! They were both really really confident! They are both happy in their skins, with who they are, with no apologies and no doubts."
"And that my friend is what you need to be!"
I said this last sentence a second time to myself with a bit less anger than the first time, with my gentle voice usually saved only for savasana, adding an air of compassion and an encouraging smile!
I know I am not the only one out there who feels like this, but I think my lack of confidence limits me daily. I need to have the courage to remind myself of my acvhievment, of my decent size brain and my lack of cellulite.
I need to celebrate myself, not apologise for myself!
No, I may not be quite as fantastically leggy as X, but I bet she can't hold those gangly pins up in boat pose for very long. Y has amazing eyes but I wouldnt give up my smile for hers, not in a million! And so what if Z thinks that Bikram Yoga is the only way to go. Its horses for courses and maybe if she was a little more open minded, LIKE ME, should would discover a whole new world opening up to her.
Confidence is beauty
Confidence is power
Confidence is freedom.
And because of my constant quest for freedom, in particular, I need to make some changes.
Do you want to hear my cunning plan?
I am going to start bigging myself up a bit, quietly, on the inside for starters, and then hopefully, like breathing in and out, it will eventually become an autonomic reflex. I won't have to gee myself up, I will know that I am lovely and intelligent and have a valid opinion and a big heart.
And then, if I persevere, one day as if by magic, I will be one of those elusive confident people!
Today was a feeling good kind of day.
I sprung (well not actually sprung but maybe groaned a little less than usual) out of bed this morning, had a speedy hot shower and did the bravest thing that any girl over 40 (only a few weeks over 40 mind!) can do. I slipped my towel off my hot damp body (sorry, now its sounding like porn!) and positioned myself in front of the full length mirror. Gingerly of course, starting at one side of the mirror so as not to scare myself! As my body came fully into view I was actually not as horrified as I imagined. In fact, dare I say it, I was a little bit chuffed! So 40 (and a tiny bit), with no serious cellulite, an in and out sort of waist hip thing going on and what Dawn French would consider a "Tom Boy Tum"!
Yay for sun salutations and giving up coffee!
I got dressed in real clothes, which I rarely get to wear because I am always in yoga get up, and after a slick of mascara a bit of a blow dry and a spritz of Jo Malone I was headed out the door to a couple of appointments.
Appointment one was good. Appointment two, good too, but my "look at me all 40 and gorgeous" had been replaced with a "God I'm rubbish!"
I hate that, and it happens often. I get dressed look in the mirror and think, "you know what Fee? You're alright you are!" and then I go out, meet other people and think, "Why am I not like that? Why don't I look like that? Why didn't I say that/wear that/be that?"
Please tell me I am not alone in this!
Now, I know I have issues!
Bizarrely most people who first meet me think I am the most together person they know. It is only when they delve deeper and get to know me better that they realize I am absolutely and hopelessly lack of confidence personified.
Lets just say that my self esteem cupboard is bare!
I am also ashamed to admit that I am completely shallow and obsessed by appearance. Mostly other people's and how mine doesn't match up.
Now on the way home from lunch with gorgeous thing one and fashionable thing two, doing the whole woe is me thing, a funny thing happened. I actually stopped myself in mid thought and told myself off! Now I am sounding like a mad woman...stop nodding!
"Fee!", I said. "Stop it!" I said it a bit sternly actually. I frightened myself!
"You are still as gorgeous as you were in the mirror this morning."
"Was that bird so beautiful? Was that other one so trendy? NO! They were both really really confident! They are both happy in their skins, with who they are, with no apologies and no doubts."
"And that my friend is what you need to be!"
I said this last sentence a second time to myself with a bit less anger than the first time, with my gentle voice usually saved only for savasana, adding an air of compassion and an encouraging smile!
I know I am not the only one out there who feels like this, but I think my lack of confidence limits me daily. I need to have the courage to remind myself of my acvhievment, of my decent size brain and my lack of cellulite.
I need to celebrate myself, not apologise for myself!
No, I may not be quite as fantastically leggy as X, but I bet she can't hold those gangly pins up in boat pose for very long. Y has amazing eyes but I wouldnt give up my smile for hers, not in a million! And so what if Z thinks that Bikram Yoga is the only way to go. Its horses for courses and maybe if she was a little more open minded, LIKE ME, should would discover a whole new world opening up to her.
Confidence is beauty
Confidence is power
Confidence is freedom.
And because of my constant quest for freedom, in particular, I need to make some changes.
Do you want to hear my cunning plan?
I am going to start bigging myself up a bit, quietly, on the inside for starters, and then hopefully, like breathing in and out, it will eventually become an autonomic reflex. I won't have to gee myself up, I will know that I am lovely and intelligent and have a valid opinion and a big heart.
And then, if I persevere, one day as if by magic, I will be one of those elusive confident people!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Wreck smeck!
OK so if you haven't already heard, Yoga can wreck your body!
Journalist and yoga student, William Broad made this controversial announcement recently in the New York times and since this bomb shell hit on January 5th, yoga practitioners the world over have been questioning their practice.
Yes, me too! Shocking I know because I am so secure!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The gist of the story is that this guy Broad some years ago, found he could alleviate the pain of a disc rupture in his lower back with a series of yoga postures which he practiced frequently until one day his back gave way in extended side angle pose. This one blip made him question his entire practice and the merits of yoga as a restorative practice on the whole.
He was pretty quick to turn on his trusted friend yoga who had helped him through the pain in his back for so many years!
The story continues with Broad seeking out renowned New York yoga teacher Glen Black to give him the skinny on whether yoga was damaging for the body. This guy seemed to be intent on proving that yoga, which has become so incredibly popular the world over not only for its physical benefits but also for the mental, emotional and spiritual journey that a practitioner travels, was very very bad for you indeed!
I am happy to say that the answer that really comes from Mr. Black is that lack of awareness is what damages the body, not yoga!
Take that Broad!
Were you working to your own personal edge in your side angle or were you looking at the bloke next to you thinking "If he can get there then I am sure if I push myself I can too"? Were you being led by your ego rather than letting go of its leash and being honest about your true capabilities? Were you just about surviving in your pose rather than backing off to a point where you were happy and comfortable and most importantly able to breathe?!
Now Glen Black is hugely knowledgeable and his message is "I make it as hard as possible. It's up to you to make it easy on yourself".
You have to, as Black says, "pay attention to your thresholds of pain". Its no good puffing and panting and shaking and shuddering and grimacing yourself into a posture only to find that you are in pain. As he says, that's not yoga. That's a bunch of physical exercises thrown together without any thought about the way in which you are approaching them.
Lets face it, anything can wreck your body if you allow it to: rugby, dancing, alcohol, food, pregnancy, the sun.
The list is endless.
But we have choices. We have in all of us the ability to either nurture ourselves and listen to all the messages our body sends us every minute of every day, or we can think ourselves invincible and push ourselves to the limit in every way.
Whatever you choose to do, you have to be willing to live with the results and consequences.
You cannot hold anyone else responsible for the outcome but usually if you are being aware and mindful as well as kind to your body and mind you won't have much to complain about!
So my job as a yoga teacher is to keep on reminding you of that. I tell all my students in every class that everything is an invitation, you don't have to come on the ride!
It is also my job to be as informed as possible not only about yoga but about my students. I don't claim to know it all, I don't even think Glen Black knows it all (William Broad may well do!) however I am committed to knowledge of my field and to the safety of my very lovely and very precious students!
Yoga makes you aware of your strengths as well as your weaknesses, it allows you to get to know yourself inside and out and realise your true potential, if you let it!
So don't become one of cynical Mr. Broad's statistics.
Next time you step into the yoga room, promise yourself that you will listen, be honest and most of all, breathe!
Journalist and yoga student, William Broad made this controversial announcement recently in the New York times and since this bomb shell hit on January 5th, yoga practitioners the world over have been questioning their practice.
Yes, me too! Shocking I know because I am so secure!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The gist of the story is that this guy Broad some years ago, found he could alleviate the pain of a disc rupture in his lower back with a series of yoga postures which he practiced frequently until one day his back gave way in extended side angle pose. This one blip made him question his entire practice and the merits of yoga as a restorative practice on the whole.
He was pretty quick to turn on his trusted friend yoga who had helped him through the pain in his back for so many years!
The story continues with Broad seeking out renowned New York yoga teacher Glen Black to give him the skinny on whether yoga was damaging for the body. This guy seemed to be intent on proving that yoga, which has become so incredibly popular the world over not only for its physical benefits but also for the mental, emotional and spiritual journey that a practitioner travels, was very very bad for you indeed!
I am happy to say that the answer that really comes from Mr. Black is that lack of awareness is what damages the body, not yoga!
Take that Broad!
Were you working to your own personal edge in your side angle or were you looking at the bloke next to you thinking "If he can get there then I am sure if I push myself I can too"? Were you being led by your ego rather than letting go of its leash and being honest about your true capabilities? Were you just about surviving in your pose rather than backing off to a point where you were happy and comfortable and most importantly able to breathe?!
Now Glen Black is hugely knowledgeable and his message is "I make it as hard as possible. It's up to you to make it easy on yourself".
You have to, as Black says, "pay attention to your thresholds of pain". Its no good puffing and panting and shaking and shuddering and grimacing yourself into a posture only to find that you are in pain. As he says, that's not yoga. That's a bunch of physical exercises thrown together without any thought about the way in which you are approaching them.
Lets face it, anything can wreck your body if you allow it to: rugby, dancing, alcohol, food, pregnancy, the sun.
The list is endless.
But we have choices. We have in all of us the ability to either nurture ourselves and listen to all the messages our body sends us every minute of every day, or we can think ourselves invincible and push ourselves to the limit in every way.
Whatever you choose to do, you have to be willing to live with the results and consequences.
You cannot hold anyone else responsible for the outcome but usually if you are being aware and mindful as well as kind to your body and mind you won't have much to complain about!
So my job as a yoga teacher is to keep on reminding you of that. I tell all my students in every class that everything is an invitation, you don't have to come on the ride!
It is also my job to be as informed as possible not only about yoga but about my students. I don't claim to know it all, I don't even think Glen Black knows it all (William Broad may well do!) however I am committed to knowledge of my field and to the safety of my very lovely and very precious students!
Yoga makes you aware of your strengths as well as your weaknesses, it allows you to get to know yourself inside and out and realise your true potential, if you let it!
So don't become one of cynical Mr. Broad's statistics.
Next time you step into the yoga room, promise yourself that you will listen, be honest and most of all, breathe!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Indian Bells and Oms!
"You're not like a normal yoga teacher!"
That's what one of my clients told me last week. I obviously looked a little confused and crest fallen because she very swiftly added "Sophie, that's a good thing!"
"Phew!"
OK so let me explain. To me, being "normal" usually means conforming and being pigeon holed and lets face it, a bit boring! I certainly have tried never to do that my whole life up until now, however when it comes to yoga, I want to be taken seriously.
Herein lies the question: Do I have to conform to the stereotype of a yoga teacher to be able to be impart good knowledge and helpful life enhancing practices to my students?
I am going to risk answering with a resounding "NO"!
Bear with me on this...
According to the aforementioned client who shall remain nameless, but who brightens my Saturday mornings with her Rock and Roll lifestyle when she flies into the room in her sunglasses often sporting a terrible hangover and a paint stained mat where her kids have been "creating art", the reason why she comes to me is because I am the very antithesis of a yoga teacher.
"If you suddenly got out some Indian bells and tinged them or started the class with Oms I would have to giggle and no doubt that would lead to me being chucked out eventually!"
I went on to tell her "Me too!"
When I was on my teacher training I really struggled when we started chanting and discussing the more spiritual side of yoga. So much so that in a bit of a melt down moment I had to question if this was really all for me. That's when I became friends with the lovely Terri, a down to earth Londoner with a wicked sense of humour and a bit of a WAG status. "Babe! why did YOU go to a yoga class in the first place? To get fit right? To heal injury, maybe? I am betting you didn't you go to hear about the roar of the universe or your buoyant heart connecting with your higher self. And sure as eggs you didn't go hoping to learn about a coiled snake at the base of your spine or the sanskrit word for revolve? You went Babe, because you wanted a tighter bum and defined arms and to get a bit of a sweat on! And that, my friend, is why people will come to your class when you are a teacher. They will come to get fit and healthy. And if you decide you want to throw in a bit about the spinning wheels of light in your body or the fact that the sound of the universe is Om then you can with confidence. But its your class. You get to choose!"
You gotta love a Londoner, they say it as it is!
And of course, she is completely right. I was stressing that I had to become stick thin, build an altar to Shiva in my house, and spend my evenings dancing round a fire chanting in order to be a "proper" yoga teacher!
But in truth, all I ever needed to be is informed and genuine.
I am happy that I have the confidence to admit that I don't find it easy to meditate at all, I am extremely intimidated when someone spouts on about the subtle body while I am struggling to breathe in shoulder stand and I frankly want to shout out "fake!" when a yoga teacher drones on about the importance of ahimsa (non Violence) with regards to animals during a class when you know they are about to slip on their sheepskin Uggs, pick up their Mulberry handbag and slink out the door for an eggy sandwich at M&S!
Yes, I am focused on the physical. On the core and the biceps and the hamstrings. I am focused on the aesthetics of a pose, on how the breath can help you not only get into a posture but stay there comfortably and even, dare I say, happily! I want my students to feel energized and uplifted when they leave my class, to feel like they have worked their entire bodies, inside and out. And I do that, knowing that the calm and focus of the mental and emotional states will follow.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am well versed in yoga philosophy. I know my Shiva from my Shakti, my ajna from my anahata, my satya from my svadhyaya. I just choose not to bang on about it in class.
There's too much other juicy stuff to be talking about, like how if you press your little toes strongly into the mat whilst sending your little fingers towards the sky in Warrior I you get the most amazing energy and stretch through your whole body. Or, if you think about grounding the shoulder blades down to the mat and opening across the collar bones in Shoulderstand, all the time imagining your jeans are a little too tight around the waist you will get that extra lift you need to feel strong and confident in the pose.
This is me! I am an individual who has been transformed by my own physical practice enough to want to share it with others in a fun, non-intimidating and genuine way.
So thanks Jo (Ooops!) for giving me the courage to continue being myself...I also promise that you will never be thrown out for giggling!
That's what one of my clients told me last week. I obviously looked a little confused and crest fallen because she very swiftly added "Sophie, that's a good thing!"
"Phew!"
OK so let me explain. To me, being "normal" usually means conforming and being pigeon holed and lets face it, a bit boring! I certainly have tried never to do that my whole life up until now, however when it comes to yoga, I want to be taken seriously.
Herein lies the question: Do I have to conform to the stereotype of a yoga teacher to be able to be impart good knowledge and helpful life enhancing practices to my students?
I am going to risk answering with a resounding "NO"!
Bear with me on this...
According to the aforementioned client who shall remain nameless, but who brightens my Saturday mornings with her Rock and Roll lifestyle when she flies into the room in her sunglasses often sporting a terrible hangover and a paint stained mat where her kids have been "creating art", the reason why she comes to me is because I am the very antithesis of a yoga teacher.
"If you suddenly got out some Indian bells and tinged them or started the class with Oms I would have to giggle and no doubt that would lead to me being chucked out eventually!"
I went on to tell her "Me too!"
When I was on my teacher training I really struggled when we started chanting and discussing the more spiritual side of yoga. So much so that in a bit of a melt down moment I had to question if this was really all for me. That's when I became friends with the lovely Terri, a down to earth Londoner with a wicked sense of humour and a bit of a WAG status. "Babe! why did YOU go to a yoga class in the first place? To get fit right? To heal injury, maybe? I am betting you didn't you go to hear about the roar of the universe or your buoyant heart connecting with your higher self. And sure as eggs you didn't go hoping to learn about a coiled snake at the base of your spine or the sanskrit word for revolve? You went Babe, because you wanted a tighter bum and defined arms and to get a bit of a sweat on! And that, my friend, is why people will come to your class when you are a teacher. They will come to get fit and healthy. And if you decide you want to throw in a bit about the spinning wheels of light in your body or the fact that the sound of the universe is Om then you can with confidence. But its your class. You get to choose!"
You gotta love a Londoner, they say it as it is!
And of course, she is completely right. I was stressing that I had to become stick thin, build an altar to Shiva in my house, and spend my evenings dancing round a fire chanting in order to be a "proper" yoga teacher!
But in truth, all I ever needed to be is informed and genuine.
I am happy that I have the confidence to admit that I don't find it easy to meditate at all, I am extremely intimidated when someone spouts on about the subtle body while I am struggling to breathe in shoulder stand and I frankly want to shout out "fake!" when a yoga teacher drones on about the importance of ahimsa (non Violence) with regards to animals during a class when you know they are about to slip on their sheepskin Uggs, pick up their Mulberry handbag and slink out the door for an eggy sandwich at M&S!
Yes, I am focused on the physical. On the core and the biceps and the hamstrings. I am focused on the aesthetics of a pose, on how the breath can help you not only get into a posture but stay there comfortably and even, dare I say, happily! I want my students to feel energized and uplifted when they leave my class, to feel like they have worked their entire bodies, inside and out. And I do that, knowing that the calm and focus of the mental and emotional states will follow.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am well versed in yoga philosophy. I know my Shiva from my Shakti, my ajna from my anahata, my satya from my svadhyaya. I just choose not to bang on about it in class.
There's too much other juicy stuff to be talking about, like how if you press your little toes strongly into the mat whilst sending your little fingers towards the sky in Warrior I you get the most amazing energy and stretch through your whole body. Or, if you think about grounding the shoulder blades down to the mat and opening across the collar bones in Shoulderstand, all the time imagining your jeans are a little too tight around the waist you will get that extra lift you need to feel strong and confident in the pose.
This is me! I am an individual who has been transformed by my own physical practice enough to want to share it with others in a fun, non-intimidating and genuine way.
So thanks Jo (Ooops!) for giving me the courage to continue being myself...I also promise that you will never be thrown out for giggling!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Don't go through life so fast you forget to smell the flowers!
Blimey! It has been nearly 2 months since I blogged. I have missed you all!
OK, so there are several reasons why you haven't read any inspiring life altering prose (she says with her tongue very firmly planted in her cheek!) from me in a while. Firstly, Christmas and secondly, New Year, thirdly work and fourthly lack of inspiration. Now, the first two are acceptable. I was away for a month over the holidays and decided that after a madly busy and very successful first year in business in the UK with Freedom Yoga I deserved some time out. As a human being living in the 21st Century I am proud to say (however as a yoga teacher I feel a bit embarrassed to admit) that I did absolutely bugger all between December 12th and January 13th but eat, drink and sleep.
And boy did it feel fantastic?!
2011 has been a complete rollercoast ride for me on many levels. It has been rewarding and inspiring, full of laughter as well as a good share of tears. It has left me exhilerated and completely exhausted and challenged my mind, my body and my heart. The great thing is that I made it through intact, by the skin of my teeth, but the universe was telling me that I needed my month off work to completely relax and re-energize myself for a new chapter of exciting adventures in 2012.
Now I absolutely LOVE my job, don't get me wrong, but frankly, it felt wonderful not to be preparing classes, sending emails, posting flyers through letter boxes and all the while beating myself up about how much more I should be doing.
You will be glad to know that 2012 has not brought me any more confidence and I am still showing all the usual signs of a neurotic obsessive!
Instead, I spent lazy mornings in bed drinking tea and afternoons walking on the beach or fishing (yes, don't ask!) or browsing around my favourite shops, then eating yummy food over a glass of wine and retiring infront of a good movie or a trashy episode of "Keeping up with the Pistachios" as my Nephew Will calls it!
I returned back home with renewed energy for life and lots of ideas for not only filling up my existing classes but for how I could add more yoga opportunities and help enhance the lives of the dedicated yoga community of South Bucks in the new year. Plus about 7 more pounds wobbling around my hips and arse than usual!
And there brings me to my third reason for not blogging. Not the size of my arse! I have been so freaking busy since I got home, having meetings and designing posters, networking and booking courses and obviously something had to give. For me it has been my beloved blog. And because I have been far too busy worrying about income and class numbers that seems to have blocked any creative flow I had (reason four!)
I lost my mojo!
I know that I totally bore my entire family and all my friends with yoga talk, and for that I must apologise!
I have been absolutely consumed by my business. I sleep (well hardly sleep right now actually. I have the joy of being an insomniac, hopefully temporarily, which is such a thrill at 4am when you know you have to teach your first class at 8am and you don't finish until 9pm!), eat and breathe Freedom Yoga. In fact to the point where last night I realized that enough was enough.
I was in a comlete funk!
And suddenly the old lightbulb pinged above my head...I need to get a balance.
DUH!
I know I know, that is the root of yoga, balance. You see if I didn't practice yoga I wouldn't have realized that and I would be one of the many spiralling out of control in their professional lives with no yin to their yang!
My blog is therapeutic. It helps me put things into perspective and takes me away from the mundane apsects of running a business. I think we all need something like that of our own that no-one else has control over, no-one else can change no-one else can influence. And can I just say? am I allowed? I like to think I sometimes make you laugh which is the greatest feeling ever!
So here I sit, invoices done, classes prepared, yoga props ordered, emails sent, with a cup of tea at my side and a slighlty sheepish look on my face, hoping that my loyal freedom lovers will invite me back into their lives with my ramblings about yoga and observations of my slightly less than conventional life.
Here's to 2012 and all the possibilities that lie within, personally and professionally. But remember, "Don't go through life so fast you forget to smell the flowers"!
OK, so there are several reasons why you haven't read any inspiring life altering prose (she says with her tongue very firmly planted in her cheek!) from me in a while. Firstly, Christmas and secondly, New Year, thirdly work and fourthly lack of inspiration. Now, the first two are acceptable. I was away for a month over the holidays and decided that after a madly busy and very successful first year in business in the UK with Freedom Yoga I deserved some time out. As a human being living in the 21st Century I am proud to say (however as a yoga teacher I feel a bit embarrassed to admit) that I did absolutely bugger all between December 12th and January 13th but eat, drink and sleep.
And boy did it feel fantastic?!
2011 has been a complete rollercoast ride for me on many levels. It has been rewarding and inspiring, full of laughter as well as a good share of tears. It has left me exhilerated and completely exhausted and challenged my mind, my body and my heart. The great thing is that I made it through intact, by the skin of my teeth, but the universe was telling me that I needed my month off work to completely relax and re-energize myself for a new chapter of exciting adventures in 2012.
Now I absolutely LOVE my job, don't get me wrong, but frankly, it felt wonderful not to be preparing classes, sending emails, posting flyers through letter boxes and all the while beating myself up about how much more I should be doing.
You will be glad to know that 2012 has not brought me any more confidence and I am still showing all the usual signs of a neurotic obsessive!
Instead, I spent lazy mornings in bed drinking tea and afternoons walking on the beach or fishing (yes, don't ask!) or browsing around my favourite shops, then eating yummy food over a glass of wine and retiring infront of a good movie or a trashy episode of "Keeping up with the Pistachios" as my Nephew Will calls it!
I returned back home with renewed energy for life and lots of ideas for not only filling up my existing classes but for how I could add more yoga opportunities and help enhance the lives of the dedicated yoga community of South Bucks in the new year. Plus about 7 more pounds wobbling around my hips and arse than usual!
And there brings me to my third reason for not blogging. Not the size of my arse! I have been so freaking busy since I got home, having meetings and designing posters, networking and booking courses and obviously something had to give. For me it has been my beloved blog. And because I have been far too busy worrying about income and class numbers that seems to have blocked any creative flow I had (reason four!)
I lost my mojo!
I know that I totally bore my entire family and all my friends with yoga talk, and for that I must apologise!
I have been absolutely consumed by my business. I sleep (well hardly sleep right now actually. I have the joy of being an insomniac, hopefully temporarily, which is such a thrill at 4am when you know you have to teach your first class at 8am and you don't finish until 9pm!), eat and breathe Freedom Yoga. In fact to the point where last night I realized that enough was enough.
I was in a comlete funk!
And suddenly the old lightbulb pinged above my head...I need to get a balance.
DUH!
I know I know, that is the root of yoga, balance. You see if I didn't practice yoga I wouldn't have realized that and I would be one of the many spiralling out of control in their professional lives with no yin to their yang!
My blog is therapeutic. It helps me put things into perspective and takes me away from the mundane apsects of running a business. I think we all need something like that of our own that no-one else has control over, no-one else can change no-one else can influence. And can I just say? am I allowed? I like to think I sometimes make you laugh which is the greatest feeling ever!
So here I sit, invoices done, classes prepared, yoga props ordered, emails sent, with a cup of tea at my side and a slighlty sheepish look on my face, hoping that my loyal freedom lovers will invite me back into their lives with my ramblings about yoga and observations of my slightly less than conventional life.
Here's to 2012 and all the possibilities that lie within, personally and professionally. But remember, "Don't go through life so fast you forget to smell the flowers"!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Not so much Eat Pray Love, more Sing Pray Blub!
I'm not really what you would call a God type person!
What I mean is, it is fairly hard for me to believe in a beardy bloke relaxing on his cloud, surveying all that he created with a slightly smug look on his face. Similarly, I could never buy into Jesus being the son of said beardy bloke having to be tortured and killed to save us.
Now it may interest you to know that I married a staunch Roman Catholic who is totally OK with the creation, loves the stories of the virgin birth, digs the whole Noah's ark thing. He goes to church every Sunday and prays and lights candles for his family and finds total peace during this precious hour every week.
For me that kind of peace is found on my yoga mat. I zone out of the stresses of life, I focus on my actions and my breath and weirdly love. The yoga studio is my church, my mat is my prayer book and I light my candles inside my body.
If I followed an organised religion I think it would have to be Buddhism. Very simply, you are worshipping the god within which to me makes complete sense.
However, this Sunday just gone I found myself in church!
I had been invited to see my oldest friend sing in a concert with her Rock Choir at the Holy Trinity Church in Guildford. Although churches freak me out a little, I do love a good sing song and so I got dolled up in my Sunday best (no hat!) and made the journey.
Thank Goodness the church wasn't a spooky one! It was a new building with high ceilings, glass doors, polished wooden floors and chairs...not a pew or a whiff of musty prayer books to behold!
I perched gingerly on the end of a row with 15 minutes or so to kill before the concert was to start.
What to do?
I whipped out my phone and texted my sister "Sunday morning and I am in church. What is wrong with this picture?!"
She replied "pretty sure its illegal to text in church. Put your phone away before the lightning strikes!"
So now what?
thumb twiddle, hair ruffle, nail bite...
And then... I came over all Liz Gilbert.
I actually found myself what can only be described as praying...eeeeekkkk!
Well, I like to think of it more as sending out some pleas into the universe in the hope that the mighty universe may offer up some answers.
Thank goodness the choir rolled in on time or I may have signed up to weekly bible study if I had been left any longer!
The choir was (yes I know its over used but its the best word I can think of) AMAZING!
They sang, and I quote form Madeleine's email:
"All over the World - the scary arms one
Take on Me – the scary turning one
Mr Blue Sky – the one where we all sing when we’re meant to be quiet one
Walking on Broken Glass – the rather good one
True Colours – the lovely one
Something inside so Strong – the bring a hankie one"
It was rousing and inspirational, thoroughly enjoyable and hopelessly emotional.
A bright eyed, predominately female group of 50 or so singing their hearts while madly trying to step touch in time to the music and make their fantastically charismatic choir master proud.
Of course, I cried like a girl from beginning to end. The song choice was fantastic, the enthusiasm was boundless and the audience was completely enthralled.
The weirdest bit for me and the reason why I blubbed (even through Aha's hit song "Take on Me") was because, as if by magic, each song seemed to hold an answer to the big asks I sent out into the universe a few moments earlier.
By the time we got to "Something Inside so Strong" I had to slide my sunglasses over my eyes to shield my embarrassment. I mean a pink blotchy tear stained face is not a good accessory to Sunday Best!
I left church feeling uplifted and bouncy, and to tell you the truth a little changed.
Maybe I should talk to the universe more often.
Or maybe I should just spend a little time each week not working, not chatting, not emailing, not doing yoga, but just sitting, contemplating, putting stuff out there, and seeing what I get back.
It's worth a try isn't it?!
What I mean is, it is fairly hard for me to believe in a beardy bloke relaxing on his cloud, surveying all that he created with a slightly smug look on his face. Similarly, I could never buy into Jesus being the son of said beardy bloke having to be tortured and killed to save us.
Now it may interest you to know that I married a staunch Roman Catholic who is totally OK with the creation, loves the stories of the virgin birth, digs the whole Noah's ark thing. He goes to church every Sunday and prays and lights candles for his family and finds total peace during this precious hour every week.
For me that kind of peace is found on my yoga mat. I zone out of the stresses of life, I focus on my actions and my breath and weirdly love. The yoga studio is my church, my mat is my prayer book and I light my candles inside my body.
If I followed an organised religion I think it would have to be Buddhism. Very simply, you are worshipping the god within which to me makes complete sense.
However, this Sunday just gone I found myself in church!
I had been invited to see my oldest friend sing in a concert with her Rock Choir at the Holy Trinity Church in Guildford. Although churches freak me out a little, I do love a good sing song and so I got dolled up in my Sunday best (no hat!) and made the journey.
Thank Goodness the church wasn't a spooky one! It was a new building with high ceilings, glass doors, polished wooden floors and chairs...not a pew or a whiff of musty prayer books to behold!
I perched gingerly on the end of a row with 15 minutes or so to kill before the concert was to start.
What to do?
I whipped out my phone and texted my sister "Sunday morning and I am in church. What is wrong with this picture?!"
She replied "pretty sure its illegal to text in church. Put your phone away before the lightning strikes!"
So now what?
thumb twiddle, hair ruffle, nail bite...
And then... I came over all Liz Gilbert.
I actually found myself what can only be described as praying...eeeeekkkk!
Well, I like to think of it more as sending out some pleas into the universe in the hope that the mighty universe may offer up some answers.
Thank goodness the choir rolled in on time or I may have signed up to weekly bible study if I had been left any longer!
The choir was (yes I know its over used but its the best word I can think of) AMAZING!
They sang, and I quote form Madeleine's email:
"All over the World - the scary arms one
Take on Me – the scary turning one
Mr Blue Sky – the one where we all sing when we’re meant to be quiet one
Walking on Broken Glass – the rather good one
True Colours – the lovely one
Something inside so Strong – the bring a hankie one"
It was rousing and inspirational, thoroughly enjoyable and hopelessly emotional.
A bright eyed, predominately female group of 50 or so singing their hearts while madly trying to step touch in time to the music and make their fantastically charismatic choir master proud.
Of course, I cried like a girl from beginning to end. The song choice was fantastic, the enthusiasm was boundless and the audience was completely enthralled.
The weirdest bit for me and the reason why I blubbed (even through Aha's hit song "Take on Me") was because, as if by magic, each song seemed to hold an answer to the big asks I sent out into the universe a few moments earlier.
By the time we got to "Something Inside so Strong" I had to slide my sunglasses over my eyes to shield my embarrassment. I mean a pink blotchy tear stained face is not a good accessory to Sunday Best!
I left church feeling uplifted and bouncy, and to tell you the truth a little changed.
Maybe I should talk to the universe more often.
Or maybe I should just spend a little time each week not working, not chatting, not emailing, not doing yoga, but just sitting, contemplating, putting stuff out there, and seeing what I get back.
It's worth a try isn't it?!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Muff and Meat!
"Don't stray off your mat Babe!", Terri, my trusty companion and fellow yoga tourist whispered as we walked into the studio at Bikram Soho. With that I looked down to see that instead of the usual wooden or rubber studio floor, we were walking across a floor made of what can only be described as a scrabbly mess of curled up rubber coated wire. Terri continued, "Imagine the horrors that lie in the gaps...skin cells, hair"
"Scabs?" I chimed in!
We tiptoed from that point on, eager to place our mats in the correct place, right up against the painted line, as per the diagram on the studio wall, so as not to offend the Bikramites!
When in Rome and all that...
Not all of the students had the figure to be wearing tiny Lycra shorts with ruched sides and microscopic bra tops that barely covered nipple let alone fleshy bosom, (I looked like I was dressed for the arctic in comparison with capris and vest!) but it didn't seem to bother them. And even the stereotypical 6 foot tall, bean thin yoga gods and goddesses were struggling to hide their modesty in such postures as dancers pose where the lady in front of me advertised her Calvin Klein thong that had shifted in flight to expose a very well groomed Brazilian!
Hard to focus on your ujaii breath when all around there is "muff and meat"!
The smell of stale sweat was almost overpowering as the man next to me flapped himself from side to side trying to get into salabasana. It was all I could do to stay in the room! The thing is I don't think the smell was coming from him. I think there was a vague aroma as I stepped with trepidation into my first Bikram studio in 3 years. But as the class went on and the room heated up the odour definitely got more powerful and unbelievably anti-social!
The thing is, your senses tend to become heightened when you practice yoga and I must have been working extra hard because my nose was on overload!
Now it sounds as though I am not a fan of Bikram. Let me clarify by saying if it wasn't for Bikram I wouldn't be where I am today. I was a complete Bikram obsessive for more than four years. I loved the heat and the challenge and the competitive nature of the discipline. Plus I loved the large and airy Florida studio that never smelt!
As soon as I started studying yoga more deeply and started my teacher training I got to see that Bikram was fairly restrictive in its 26 postures and then after discovering vinyasa yoga and ashtanga I understood that you can actually create your own heat.
Anyway, I digress...
Terri and I were hoping for a teacher who had experience in other yoga styles. Our instructor seemed to have experience but she was definitely a Bikram robot, sticking religiously to the script and doing so with the smiliest of faces and chirpiest of tones. At any moment I expected her to come out with " Go back, way back, fall back...and please fasten your seat belt as we shall shortly be landing in Calcutta!" She was Channeling her inner air hostess - Virgin, not BA!! (Terri, you may be the only one laughing at that!)
Smells aside (there is always an uncontrollable farter in every Bikram class!!) it was a really enjoyable class.
Hard to believe from these ramblings I know!
I felt fantastic afterwards and it certainly took me to a depth of posture that is hard to find without the heat...in November in England!
I was completely spent after the ninety minutes not to mention a little emotional and after a long savasana I was happy to slide across the now slimy floor out to the coolness of the studio reception. After a rugby shower and a discussion as to why all the skinny birds parade around naked in the changing rooms for hours after class doing their hair, checking their phone, discussing the advantages of a flax seed only diet with other naked birds, we grabbed our shoes at the door and headed into China Town.
Now you have to check out Y Ming on Greek Street. The greatest crispy Duck pancakes on earth and noodles to die for.
Terri and I put the world to rights over one too many beers, all the while garnering very odd looks from other "normal" colour diners in the restaurant.
You could see them trying not to stare, thinking "Radiation poisoning?" , "Allergic reaction?"
"No, I have a beetroot face because I spent an hour and a half doing seriously hard exercise in a bloody sauna...of course!"
"Scabs?" I chimed in!
We tiptoed from that point on, eager to place our mats in the correct place, right up against the painted line, as per the diagram on the studio wall, so as not to offend the Bikramites!
When in Rome and all that...
Not all of the students had the figure to be wearing tiny Lycra shorts with ruched sides and microscopic bra tops that barely covered nipple let alone fleshy bosom, (I looked like I was dressed for the arctic in comparison with capris and vest!) but it didn't seem to bother them. And even the stereotypical 6 foot tall, bean thin yoga gods and goddesses were struggling to hide their modesty in such postures as dancers pose where the lady in front of me advertised her Calvin Klein thong that had shifted in flight to expose a very well groomed Brazilian!
Hard to focus on your ujaii breath when all around there is "muff and meat"!
The smell of stale sweat was almost overpowering as the man next to me flapped himself from side to side trying to get into salabasana. It was all I could do to stay in the room! The thing is I don't think the smell was coming from him. I think there was a vague aroma as I stepped with trepidation into my first Bikram studio in 3 years. But as the class went on and the room heated up the odour definitely got more powerful and unbelievably anti-social!
The thing is, your senses tend to become heightened when you practice yoga and I must have been working extra hard because my nose was on overload!
Now it sounds as though I am not a fan of Bikram. Let me clarify by saying if it wasn't for Bikram I wouldn't be where I am today. I was a complete Bikram obsessive for more than four years. I loved the heat and the challenge and the competitive nature of the discipline. Plus I loved the large and airy Florida studio that never smelt!
As soon as I started studying yoga more deeply and started my teacher training I got to see that Bikram was fairly restrictive in its 26 postures and then after discovering vinyasa yoga and ashtanga I understood that you can actually create your own heat.
Anyway, I digress...
Terri and I were hoping for a teacher who had experience in other yoga styles. Our instructor seemed to have experience but she was definitely a Bikram robot, sticking religiously to the script and doing so with the smiliest of faces and chirpiest of tones. At any moment I expected her to come out with " Go back, way back, fall back...and please fasten your seat belt as we shall shortly be landing in Calcutta!" She was Channeling her inner air hostess - Virgin, not BA!! (Terri, you may be the only one laughing at that!)
Smells aside (there is always an uncontrollable farter in every Bikram class!!) it was a really enjoyable class.
Hard to believe from these ramblings I know!
I felt fantastic afterwards and it certainly took me to a depth of posture that is hard to find without the heat...in November in England!
I was completely spent after the ninety minutes not to mention a little emotional and after a long savasana I was happy to slide across the now slimy floor out to the coolness of the studio reception. After a rugby shower and a discussion as to why all the skinny birds parade around naked in the changing rooms for hours after class doing their hair, checking their phone, discussing the advantages of a flax seed only diet with other naked birds, we grabbed our shoes at the door and headed into China Town.
Now you have to check out Y Ming on Greek Street. The greatest crispy Duck pancakes on earth and noodles to die for.
Terri and I put the world to rights over one too many beers, all the while garnering very odd looks from other "normal" colour diners in the restaurant.
You could see them trying not to stare, thinking "Radiation poisoning?" , "Allergic reaction?"
"No, I have a beetroot face because I spent an hour and a half doing seriously hard exercise in a bloody sauna...of course!"
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